The Heathen – 1.31.22
Are you pretending to be happy? How does this question make you feel?
This may sound bonkers, but I am proud of the time I woke up face-down-pants-down on my garage floor. Blood was everywhere. My car was still running in the front yard. Gas and whiskey fumes flooded the air.
Whatever I was pretending to be in life— it was killing me. This was the day I stopped faking my happiness.
There is great danger when you value “appearing to be” over “being”
“Appearing to be” is pretending to be something you are not, usually at the expense of yourself and the benefit of someone else. “Being” is honoring the truth within you no matter how messy it may be.
Here are some examples:
- Doing what you “should” (appearing to be) vs. Doing what truly lights you up (being)
- Hiding behind your smile (appearing to be) vs. Smiling while you cry because you are sharing your truth and it feels relieving (being)
- Sharing filtered pictures to enhance your features or correct your blemishes (appearing to be) vs. Sharing your raw, natural beauty and helping others build confidence to do the same (being)
- Telling your friends that your broken relationship is thriving to avoid shame and judgment (appearing to be) vs. Communicating honestly with your partner, friends, and therapist about your hardships, thus creating opportunity for healing and growth (being)
- Resisting exercise or meditation because you are “too busy” (appearing to be) vs. Prioritizing self-care practices, thus enhancing all aspects of your life (being)
Appearing to be
|Doing what you “should”||Doing what truly lights you up|
|Hiding behind your smile||Smiling while you cry because you are sharing the truth (and it feels relieving)|
|Sharing filtered pictures to enhance your features or correct your blemishes||Sharing your raw, natural beauty and helping others build confidence to do the same|
|Telling your friends that your broken relationship or marriage is thriving to avoid shame and judgment||Communicating openly with your partner, friends, and therapist about your hardships to create new opportunities for healing and growth|
|Resisting exercise or meditation because you are “too busy”||Prioritizing self-care practices thus enhancing all aspects of your life|
“Appearing to be” is resistance. It feels easy in the moment but destroys you over time.
“Being” is the hardest work of all, but it bears eternal fruits. It removes the space between you and your truth.
Are you appearing to be, or are you being?
Be aware of the gremlins
“Appearing to be” is also an elusive trick of mASS media, corrupt politicians, and con-artists. These tricksters are predatory gremlins.
Their schemes may sound familiar:
“Act the part” even though you don’t enjoy it. “Do as you are told” even though you don’t want to. “Follow the rules” even though they only benefit someone else. “Be good” even though good and bad are completely subjective. “Behave” or endure shame and punishment…
As you strive to live in truth, be aware of the world that “appears to be.”
Choose to be a hot mess
What if you allow yourself to simply be you? What if you unleash the raw, hot mess of beauty and chaos within you?
Choosing to be (rather than appearing to be) sets you free.
Exploration keeps you free.
Creating removes the trap altogether.
Do you really have anything better to do?
Creative maniac quote & idea for you
“All that you see out in front of you is how you feel inside your head.” – Alan Watts
With this breath, you have an opportunity to invite more flowers, laughter, and love into your head and out into the world.
Take a moment to write down 3 ways you haven’t been entirely truthful to yourself and those around you. How will you make changes to start “being” rather than “appearing to be” in each of these 3 ways?
Don’t hesitate to make the necessary changes. Start now. Your future self is already twerking in celebration.
Thanks for reading “The Heathen.”
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Other posts from The Heathen
- Feeling Good
- As Ye Sow, So Shall Ye Reap
- Less Stuff = Less Distraction Monsters
- Love vs. Fear in Relationships
- The Tickle Monster Effect
- Probability of You
- Synchronicity: How to Open the Portal
- Smorgasbord of Love
- Life Force Energy: Feed Your Beauty, Not Your Beast
- Danger in “Appearing to Be” Over “Being”
- Weenie Dog Surprise: Do Good to Feel Good
- Resistance Gremlins
- Kiss the Mirror
- How to Get High Without Drugs: 26 Natural Ways to Expand Your Creative Mind
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